| WOW! |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|09:37 pm] |
OMG!!! So i'm sittin on the computer and think to myself, "Dammm wonder if anyone still goes on Livejournal?" I use to sweat this site like crazy. Seems like myspace is the "new" thing to get addicted to. I miss my jounral though. I was reading old entries and all my friends pages. A lot has changed. Somethings for the better and the worst. My goal is to continue to write in this journal. I miss it! Whoelse still writes in there journal at age 23? LMAO! ME!!! :)
peace love & envy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|01:21 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Keith Urban - You'll Think of Me | ] |
All-Around Smart
You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain.
40% applied intelligence
0% learned intelligence
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
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| This is soooo true!!!! |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|01:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Diamond Rio - Beautiful Mess | ] |
Your Social Dysfunction:
Schizotypal
You display social deficits and oddities of thinking. Your perception and communication are similar to those of a schizophrenic.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|07:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | billy currington - must be doin sumthing right | ] |
Happy Belated Valentines Day to all my friends...Luv you guys
Now I have to get a few things off my chest....
-Why is it that everytime I walk onto the bus, even if there is 17 empty seats (yes I did count), does the fucking old lady with 54 bags, 1 huge purse and a buffalo hump feel the need to sit next to me and ask me how my day is going?
-Why when I ask a question from ONE person does 10 other people feel the need to answer or give me their "opinion"? If I need it believe me people I'll ask for it
- You ask me how I feel...I tell you and you turn it around as if you heard what you wanted to hear. DONT BOTHER ASKING!!!
- when I say I'm fine or yea I had fun....that's what the fuck it means! There's no hidden message behind that
- Yes I do enjoy listening to country, alternative, rap, pop and oldies music! Why is that such a bizzare concept to comprehend?
- I hate when people know your not a morning person, but insist on making you laugh. Stop making your stupid self look like a bigger jerk off by making me smile at you! I'm not at the fucking circus!
- I like getting my nails done...now in no way should that mean that YOU should too unless of course you want to
- I'm a flirt...get over it
- I miss my highschool friends...I think about them all the time :(
- I love my career, its my life, my love, my world!
- Yes I am 23years old and still have a journal
- You will know if I dont like you from the expression on my face or because I told you myself. There is no need to solve the Divinci code on that one
- If you ask I WILL tell you
- Yes I enjoy going to the movies...even if I went the night before
- I know my teeth are white, please don't point that out when we are all talking about vacation and you "ummm couldn't help but to notice"
- I am the most ghettoest country girl you will ever meet
- I love the little things
- I'm corny and chunky
- I will ripe my heart out for you if you need it and not think twice about it |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|10:48 pm] |
I am 24% White Trash. I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|09:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Toby Keith - Whiskey Girl | ] |
TELL ME ABOUT YOU
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you. |
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| Save a horse, ride a cowboy!!!! |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|02:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
Happy New Year everyone! I know, I'm always late with updating, but I do read everyone's journal very often. Christmas this year, did not feel like a regular xmas to me. Probably all the shit I've been through in my life as well as with my health. Scary if you sit back and think about it. Last year, I wouldn't say was a bad year. It did make me realize a lot about myself. Hopefully this year will bring much more happiness. I like to believe I deserve it.
For xmas I got a lot of stuff: some main gifts
- ER DVD's season 1, 2 & 3 (very best were the early one's with my man Goerge Clooney)
- House season 1 of course
- books - love reading these days
- clothes and scrubs
- fossil watch finally!!!
- perfume - Sensi, Sicily, Just me - Paris Hilton, Fanasty - Brittney Spears, Sean Paul, Oxygen, Pure poision, Jadore, Alfred Sung, Victoria Secret 1 & 2
- money $$$$
- candles
gooosh I totally drew a blank....oh well
New Year's Well I had to work 3-11, which wasnt back. Friday I went to Bamboo Bernies and let me just say WoW!!! We had a fucking blast!!! Let's just say there was dancing on the bar, stools tables and even the stage! Apparently I was eyeing this guy all night and he came up to me and said "You dance fucking good" which I remember and then after I took a piss it was all kinda a blur! But we were talking for a while and I gave him my number all in which I dont remember. Got in at 6am, slept, went to work.
Saturday ngt: left work at 11 went over to Mark's house. Who left to give blow jobs?? who was calling my phone for someone to get a booty call... Had yet another blast. got in at 7am, slept, went to work. Later that ngt. went up 2nd street with my friends and meet a whole bunch more...lol Let's just say "what happens up 2nd street, stays up 2nd st!!!"
So all in all my New Year's wasnt that bad. For my resolution I'm going to keep that private only b/c it's kinda personal and long to explain. But its not to loose weight...lol
I've been hanging out at Fluke's a lot lately. I went once with Chuck in the summer, but before I met him I use to go with the girls from school and work. It's amazing now I'm at the point where when I go as soon as I get there I have 3 free shots waiting for me and my friends in which we all named them. LoL now thats alcoholic for ya! But I havent been drinking a lot in the past months for obvious reasons. It kinda puts a stop to ur socail life if ya let it. Oh well...
Always remember: "I got friends in low places...." til next time |
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| In other words... |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|01:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me!
I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away
I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else
I just want you to know... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|09:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | missy - loose control | ] |
I'm on line reading everyone's live journal and all I have to say is wow!! seems like everyone is bitching this week. Hmmm so where do I begin. I decided by taking with Theresa that the only way I'm gonna feel better about my life is if I set goals with myself. And I did. I feel much better about myself already. Tuesday I went for my permit and passed. I got every question right. I was proud of myself for that. I was driving the Bronco around with Chuck of course teaching me. I was a little hurt because at first his steering has been off...like way off... and he was yelling; stay in the lines, watch the people, watch the cars... I mean number one ur steering is off cut me some slack. But he fixed it today and I drove on the street :) He brought me my own Ford Tauras <~~speel check. Its awesome...of course its used but in good condition. He fixed it all up and stuff. He also brought me this niffty lab top that I am on now. I LOVE HIM!!! For the past month or two we have had a relationship with no communication so basically I explained to him how I feel, that I never get to see him and stuff because he works over 80hrI are gone down Als a week easy. so he quit that job and got a new one where he works 4 days 4 days off. I'm so happy for him, he is a great man, friend, lover, provider everything in one. We have had the time of our life the past month. Laughing all the time. dont get me worng we still argue, who dont? Well anyway I just wanted to update u guys. write more later. Ohhh chuck, my mom and I are gone down Atlantic City tomorrow afternoon and sleeping over....so I'm looking forward to that...peace out |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2005|12:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Yesterday was Chuck's birthday. His "magical" birthday as he would call it. :)
I was sooo upset because I had no clue what to do for his day. One of the things I envy him for, is his creativity. Its amzing what his mind comes up with. Anyhoot. I decided to go to depfort mall and build a bear. I wanted to make an EMT bear, but they didnt have any EMT shirts. which sucked! Then I thought that he also wears red, for his company t-shirt. So I got the red shirt, black pants, sunglasses, cellphone and black shoes. I come home and designed the shirt to say his company name on front. I was very pleased with the way it came out. My mom loved it. I also got him a tool set, with all the tools he use to work with at his old job. He swears by these tools. I made three poems for him. I was upset because I would hear a lyric or read a pretty line and build it from that. I guess its not that bad. I got 8 balloons and put a 8 line poem together, cut them out and taped them to the balloons so he had to figure the poem out. I made him his favorite yellow cake with chocolate icing. I lite 23 candles in his room (after cleaning that hell hole!) Put on my victoria secret gown. We have these romatic cards we use to do almost every week. So I decided Hey why not try and start this back up. One card said "Nag free for 1 week" <~ which is gonna be hard. and the second one said "Tell ur partner randomly why you love him" So I did and if your creative enough you will know how it ended! ;)
He is truly an amazing man. My man at that! He has a million different laughs, smiles, grins... Friday night I was upset because I ask him for the box of all his scrap book stuff. Since we had this scrap book for almost a year and one page is complete. So I was talking to my friend theresa and came across something he must of printed for his ex's book. It was all about the first day they met. Like I needed to see that. I'm a basket case as it is. It made me upset because he knew something could of been in that box, but he didnt go through it. And we had this book for almost a year and its not even together yet. He makes books like there nothing. I know he works a lot, but I cant help but feel we are loosing what brought us together. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel sometimes the way we use to talk is gone. The things that use to make our relationship died. We barly spend time together because of his unpredictable work schedule. So every minute I get I try to make it last or recreate old things we use to do. I don't know anymore. I wonder if anyone else experiences the same things I go through. It might just be a bump in the path, hopefully it will change for the better. In the past I got all his attention. And now its like sometimes I have to do things to be noticed. I have to say he tells me he loves me, and I'm his world, but apart of me feels like why me? somebody else deserves this man...is there someone else?
Is it me? Am I sick in the head. I know I over anaylze too much, but this is what goes through my head.
Someone help? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2005|01:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
It's been a long time since I've updated my journal. Hopefully everyone is doing okay. Last Saturday I came back from vacation from Miami. Ahhh 10 days in paradise. Chuck and I had a blast. My sister and her boyfriend went too. We had minor arguments, but thats what happens when you share a bedroom with another couple. Next time we need our own bedroom. Its gets boring hearing about how Chuck snores, and whose doing what and this time... After the first three days you begin nit picking on others. But we all learn from our mistakes. I've felt like crap since I've gooten back. I had a bad bad cold and sinus infection.
Chuck became supervisor of the ambulance company he works for. He just recieved another raise when we returned from vacation. He works his ass off! I'm sooo proud of him. Finally, he is doing something he enjoys and loves to do. That is the greatest feeling in the world. I admire him for his dedication and hard work put into that company for the short period hes been there for. And he also gets respected for his work unlike his other job.
Me on the other hand, I wish I was doing better. I wish I can say everything is going good for me. So much is on my mind lately and its controling my life. My health feels like its declining. I went to the doctors weeks ago for routinue blood work and because I felt like crap. Well turns out I have an overactive thyroid. The symptoms are kicking me in the ass too! My resting heart rate is like 130 -140's, my anxiety is through the roof, i'm irritable as hell, i'm tired all the time....and the list goes on. Good thing is I lost 10lbs in 2weeks. Before i went away i seen an endocrinologist who put me on atenolol which overtime will trigger me to have an asthma attack! So cure one thing and trigger another. I have to go for a thyroid uptake and scan to determine what is causing my thyroid to overact. That test is in 2weeks. My Pap smear came back abnormal, thats a whole nother issue, I'd rather not get into. But its not good news either.
So for being 22 yrs old I feel like a beat up wash rag!
My relationship I feel is getting stronger. However, I wish I knew what Chuck was feeling. Sometimes I feel other things are more important to him than talking and communicating with me. I don't see much of him anymore, but we try to see each other as much as possible. I love him to death. Everyday I wake up I thank God he is in my life. I think about him constantly. I often wonder what if something happens to me health wise. How he would be. He has put up with so much from me. The past 4 months really made me realize that he truly cares me. The things I've found out that could change my life, he accepted. I cant say he wasnt upset, but he supported me. Everytime I think about it I become emotional. He truly is an amazing man. He would give up anything for me. I only wish we communicate more. that can partly be my fault. I'm not one for connversation and expressing feelings, but I'm trying. I only hope that I dont disappoint him in anyway.
I have to take my permit soon. I promised Chuck when we came back from vacation I'd take it. I miss my friends. I think about them often. I wish I didnt work so much or feel tired all the time. I wanna hang out with them like I use to. I miss the good ol days.
Well thats it for right now, |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|12:02 am] |
It's been a while since I've updated. To sum things up (because I'm at work and so whats its slow, anything can happen...lol) my baby started school today. It was his first day and he has no idea had proud I am for him. He is going to make a wonderful EMT and soon one day a Paramedic. Although he didn't seem to thrilled about today, then again he sometimes is an emotionless guy. I know instead he is happy. He tries to take on too many goals at one time and I try to tell him, just focus on school right now eveything else can wait. In September we went to Atlantic City for the weekend. I had such an amazing time with him, it was something out of a movie. Its unbelievable how you live your life hearing stories of people who meet the one they love at a super market or whatever and here I met mine at a Club where my friend was playing at...how crazy is that. We have our ups and downs, but overall I wouldnt change anything right now that we have. I believe it can only get better. Somethings I will admit piss me the fuck off about him (and I have no doubt in my mind things piss him off about me), but I somehow get past it and look at the bigger picture. We had a huge argument weeks ago and it left me wondering what should I do now, but for some reason I know we will be together. Its sickening I know...lol He has no idea what I'm capable of doing for him.
When we came back from the shore, he went to the hospital because he was throwing up blood a few times from his acid reflux. Here to find out he has 2 ulcers that were healing and a hiatil hernia. He was taking motrin for the pain and they were causing the ulcers to bleed. The Dr. I wanted him to see is one of the best GI Dr. in the Jefferson system. I was not giving up until he seen him. I was scared and strong at the same time. I will never forget the day he finally had the endoscopy done. I had work 3-11 I was up at the hospital around 11 and at 12:30ish he went down. I went to work and the Dr. called me. I was so weak I could barley stand. Even though I knew it was not that serious, still something was causing my baby to be sick. I started crying and Megan & Maryann was like you should leave. I had one of my pt. crashing he stopped breathing. I remembering yelling all I want to do he make sure my boyfriend is ok. I couldnt deal with all the questions and 17 dr. come running in asking all different shit at once. They took care of everything for me while I went to go see him. It was just comforting to see him and make sure he was ok. Cause I know noone can take care of him like I can. Then the GI Dr. came to see personally and go over eveything with me. I was shocked at that, he is a very respectful man.
I can go on for days about us, there is not enough time for all that. I'm happy with. There is nothing he wouldnt do for and thats an awesome feeling. We do a lot for each other and thats what a relationship is about. I'm just really proud for him right now and I wish him all the luck in the world. I'm always here for you baby :) my punk!
Adios kiddies. Peace Love & Envy! |
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| To all my friends... |
[Sep. 6th, 2004|03:07 am] |
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My boyfriend "Chuck" has a new journal. I told him he should make one, its a really good way to get your feelings out and get some advice from others. His LJ name is Chuckstar523. Put him on ur buddy list. For all that dont remember he is the guy the works at Club HP that I wanted so very badly the 1st time I went to see Without Parachute play :) thanks to Dawn for giving him my phone # lol |
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| Another endless night... |
[Sep. 6th, 2004|02:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
I'm sitting here at work bored out of mind. Because its the holiday the cenus is low. Not that thats a bad thing, but it leaves me sitting here counting the minutes that go by. Where do I begin. I got into an argument with my mother today. I might of said some things that pissed her off. It all started because she feels I'm not sleeping home enough. I dont understand that because even if I was home sleeping, I would still not communicate with them anyway. I understand her point of view, but when she talks to you, she kind of judges you and jumps the gun. She is the worst person to argue with. My brother gave me some good advice, and believe me I know she likes seeing me around a lot more. Its not that I have a boyfriend. If I wasn't with Chuck I would be over Leah's, working OT, just doing something to occupy my time and mind. I have no problem bringing Chuck over my house, but about a month ago my father got all pissy cause Chuck was on my bed in my bedroom with the door OPEN MIND YOU! So I decided that I wouldnt even sweat that. And I didn't. So now the problem is that I'm never home to sleep anymore. It will never end, I loose either way!
My love life has been going great. We have our up's n down's, but what relationship don't? I can think of a million reasons why I love him. He is truly a wonderful man. He starts school in October. Tuesday he goes to take his placement test. He is going to EMT school. I'm so proud of him. I'm happy and proud for whatever he chooses to do, but this makes me more happier because he will finally be doing something he has a love for and getting paid good for the time and effort he puts out. Even though money is not everything, but it helps to get paid for the time u put into your job.
This Sunday coming up we are going on vacation to AC. I never been on vacation with any of my ex boyfriends, so this will be a first. I know it will go ok and we will have a blast. I am going to miss sleeping over his house as much as I do. (this will only be temporary though) We do see each ther a lot, but I enjoy the time we spend together and I know eveyone is thinking well its only been 2 months. But this is the man I want to spend my time with and its gonna be hard. Yea I'm not gonna lie I miss spending time in my room and cleaning my room, going through my stuff. If Chuck was able to stay with me while I did these things, I would spend more time home. But I'm not kissing anyones ass to do so. Oh well this is not that serious. Sometime apart will do us good. Huh the thought of wanting him more, I couldnt imagine...lol
I love just sitting there holding him or cuddling. I always stare at him and half the time he nevers notices but its amazing to see all the things I always dreamed of having in him. WoW its breath taking. Well it will only get better...thats my mato.
I should really go do something productive now..lol Buh bye peeps!
Peace, Love & Envy. |
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| Welcome Back!!! |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|04:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kevin Little - Turn me on | ] |
What's up to all my peeps! I know I haven't updated in a while. I've been working for the past 2 months and it goes by so fast. My benefits started this month and I just recieved the card in the mail along with my prescription card.
Awww so much shit has happened. I no longer talk with any of my ex's! I stopped talking with all of them. It feels so good to not have that feeling of shame anymore. I'm not saying I regret them, but I just wish I made some wiser choices. I have a boyfriend named Chuck and he truly is an amazing man. I know we had an argument about 3 months ago, but I somehow got over what he said to me. I never thought it would of happened, but here I am today happy as can be. Sometimes when I think about it, it feels like a fantasy game. I think to myself one day I'll realize it was a dream. We have been together for 1 month and 13 days and it feels like I've known him my whole life. I finally found someone who knows who I am and I hide nothing from him. Which strikes me funny because only a selected few know stuff about me. I'm a very personal person. We do things I always dreamed of doing, like the stupid things. We can talk about anything besides the fact we argue about majority of the conversations, but we hold no grudges.
Tomorrow we are going to the Flea market supposely. We always plan these things and trips to do early in the morning, but niether of us get up before 3pm. Sooo maybe a late movie will do...lol
I love work!!! Awww I'm so happy, I finally started doing something I love to death! The only down fall is that I miss chillin with my friends. Like if its my weekend off to work I feel like a punk who has to be in bed by 12:00 - 1:00 the latest to get up for work. I miss all my friends, but they still love me! Hopefully. I will update more later. |
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| At what degrees does chocolate begin to turn into mud? |
[Jun. 18th, 2004|09:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Duran Duran - Rio | ] |
You know its hot in your room when you lay your blessed tasty cake down for one minute to pick your ass and it turns into diarrhea! WTF?! Can someone explain that to me! Maybe I shouldn't of picked my ass or maybe I should of picked my ass while holding the tasty cake... the world may never know
Lastnite went to a bar called Sweeney's in the northeast to watch Cuz (cover band) play. WoW is all I need to say! I love the lead singer named Tommy, he is also in The Business along with Drew, and Jimbo. Chad and Willy are fairly new players. Pat came which I was excited about, cause I thought he was bullshitin me when I ask him to come! Melissa came cause everyone was getting together for her birthday and leave it to Qu for giving her a Dildo called Leave it to Beaver or some shit...lol tooo funny! My sister was a little embarrassed because she wore this pink tank top that showed her boobies. Melissa was taking pic's of my cousin Donna grabbing her boobs and pretending to lick them...thats white folks for ya! OMG and at the end of the night this dude walks up outta no where on the dance floor and started busting a hard jam...looked all most identical to fat bastard! LMAO! That made the night right there!!! Next week they are playing at Dirty Nelly's and Pat will be joining...lol he's a groupie whether he likes it or not! lol
This was interesting took from lickitysplit:
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| Interesting Convo |
[Jun. 13th, 2004|06:52 pm] |
chuckstar: and i called you because i missed you and i was hoping you would talk to me that night
chuckstar: but i guess you dont want to talk to me anymore and i respect that even though i wish it was not so. I fucked up and i am sorry i only hope you can forgive me and talk to me
chuckstar: what type of refrigerant do u put in a 1995 pontiac grand hello
chuckstar: hello
TickleThis001: what happened did hurt me, i do forgive, but like i told you before i cant be myself because i felt as though i could of told you anything and u wouldnt of judged me. everyone is entitled to there own opinion im not upset about that, just the way you said it and how it came out. i never said i led a perfect life and im not pleased with a lot of shit i did in the past but thats what makes me who i am and i cant make anyone except that
Auto response from chuckstar: "You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
chuckstar: mr softy is outside my house
TickleThis001: OOooooooooooooooooooooooo
TickleThis001: i want vanilla w/ rainbow jimmys!!!!
TickleThis001: btw nice quote
chuckstar: call me
chuckstar: thank you it is true the quote
chuckstar: you are right. and i am sorry. after what you told me i sat and thought about what i did.. and it was wrong. i have done things in my life that I regret and you have to so has everyone. i dont want to be judged by them and you should not either. i wish we could start all over. i wish i could meet you i wish i could chill with you.i dont even care about it anynore. now that i think about it you are right and i was wrong. there is nothing i can say or do that WILL EVER TAKE THAT BACK. but i do know how i thik about you and i do respect you i really do respect you. how i said it was wrong. and if i had the chance to do something like that i dont know if i would say no. i am w=sorry . i wish i could call you and hear your voice again i really do miss you. you dont know i think about texting and calling you everyday but i dont because you told me not to.
chuckstar: i mean i had off yesterday and i was like i wish i could of hungout with marlene
chuckstar: and if you where here i would get you a vanilla w rainbow jimmys
chuckstar: ;-)
TickleThis001: food makes the heart grow fonder
TickleThis001: atleast in my book it does
TickleThis001: :-)
chuckstar: how about i come get you and get you some icecream and we chill?
chuckstar: or we can make browines and eat them with milk like you love to do
chuckstar: what can i get you to make the heart grow fonder my way? O:-)
TickleThis001: :-X ill never tell |
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